Reflection in Gratitude

Precious little in our society today offers individual care and attention.  Everything efficient, disposable, and formulated receives increasing esteem.  Even our health care system has become a bureaucratic structure of numbers that frustrate physicians and patients alike.  The truth of the matter is that we are human; and as such, we thrive best on the personal element.  If that is true, then which relationships of our lives can this bear more weight than on those that begin at home, within our families?

Over a year ago, my husband and I decided to move into the country.  We left the big city to strike out on our own, away from all known ties and amenities.  Already our respective families lived far away, either overseas or halfway across the nation, so moving from our hitherto established life in Toronto meant going out on a limb yet some more.  Little did we know, we were also expecting a baby!

Being newcomers to the Northumberland Hills, we didn't realize the difficulty of finding a family doctor or the privilege of reserving a place on the waiting lists of midwives.   For us, so much was new; so much, unforeseen; and so much, overwhelming.  But, I will always remember the first phone call from the Quinte Midwives.  "Yes, we can take you" confirmed the receptionist.  "And, bring your husband, too.  We like to involve families".

That said it all:  The personal element.

From the very beginning, I thoroughly appreciated and enjoyed our relationship with Stephanie and Stacey.  Perhaps, like most first-time parents, my husband I arrived per session with questions galore, yet both our midwives spent time, expertise, real effort, and laughter to guide us through the pregnancy and post partum period.  I can imagine that our concerns and curiosities were routine, but Stephanie and Stacey never lost patience nor made us feel tiresome.  They were always available.  In fact, if they didn't have a particular answer, they would invariably offer us their best lead on a subject.  How many public services would do that much for people?  Starting a family is a big change; carrying a baby and birthing is a big job; supporting beginners like us was a big help!

When time came for the birth, Stephanie, our primary midwife, accompanied us to the hospital.  I was already in active labour, so the near hour ride was rather daunting!  In fact, so unprepared were we for the last minute decision to drive-as we had planned for a homebirth-that Stephanie packed everything for me!  Including food!  She was right there, down to nitty gritty needs.  And, throughout my efforts to embrace the increasing contractions, how I appreciated Stephanie's comforting words:  "That's it, that's it.  You're doing great!'  It's amazing the reassurance from her voice!  Our weeks and months together had developed invaluable trust.   Finally, after more than 24 hours of supervision from Stephanie, our little girl was born.  I'm honored to add that our daughter's birthday is identical to Steph's!  This midwife was so dedicated that she spent her time to accompany and celebrate with us rather than to step away, and with every reason to, if she wanted.   

Then came the challenge of breastfeeding.  How I called Stacey in urgency!  I had experienced some complications, developed a fever and feared the risk of mastitis when engorgement set in, plus worried about providing nourishment for my baby.  Yet, Stacey took everything in stride.  And, answered every phone call.  She assured me it wasn't so bad, encouraged me against giving up, brought tools and techniques for latching-on, and eventually helped me attain breakthrough!  Endurance, calmness, sensitivity, and confidence - it seems the midwives naturally bore these traits over and above their skills!  What a gift!

Looking back, the individual care and attention of the Quinte Midwives fostered our trust in them and security in us, ourselves, so much so that I'm sure our baby's birth was that much more blessed because of the journey together!  How glad I am to express my gratitude here.  Granted, hospitals have their place for medical procedures.  Still, their institutional service has no comparison to the superior personal presence of midwives. Thank you, Stephanie, Stacey, Jeannette, and Laurie, for participating with our family throughout!   We really couldn't have done it without you.

Lucas Daniel's Birth Story

At about 7 PM on June 1st 2007 I felt "different" and very tired.  I laid down and told my husband and mom that I may be going into labor as I felt strange.  A couple hours passed and I felt more normal so I got up and did my usual night shift of phone work running our business and finished at 3 AM then laid down to sleep.  I woke up twice in the next hour and a half with sharp cramps then went back to sleep.  At 4:50 AM I awoke with a contraction and decided that even though I was tired I should get up and take this serious and see if I was really in labor as my due date was 5 days away!  I quickly felt alert and refreshed and the contractions were coming steadily about 5 minutes apart and 1 minute long so I took a warm bath and timed them for an hour before calling my beloved midwife, Jeannette Davies, at about 6 AM.  I thought it was going to be a very long day.  Over the next half an hour the contractions got a bit closer together and lasted a little over a minute and it was getting harder to listen or concentrate during them.  I felt a bit nauseous.  My mom was there talking to me and I told her I could not talk, only listen.  Jeannette arrived and checked me around 6:30 or 6:45 AM and I was 4 cm.  The contractions were getting more uncomfortable and I was having  hip pain.  I sat on the pot to get through the pain, pass the time and ease the baby down.  Fifteen minutes or so later Jeannette was going to check me again but I was having intense contractions and an uncontrollable urge to push so she asked me not to push, just breathe, (easier said than done), and that we should move to the car between contractions and be on our way to the hospital.  About then my husband woke up and got my hospital bag, I asked him to start praying for us and we were on our way.  I had thought of having a home birth but it was recommended that I have a hospital birth as I had a C-section 5 years prior.  On the way to the hospital I told Jeannette that I was in so much hip pain and my contractions and urge to push were so intense and painful that I no longer cared if I had a natural birth, an epidural or a C-section!  I just wanted the baby out and the pain over.  We got to the hospital at 7:30 AM and rushed up to maternity and my contractions and noises were quite intense.  The doctor on duty checked me right away and I was at 10 cm and ready.  We moved to the right room and the right bed and the doctor broke my water and  I began pushing.  I once again said that an epidural or C-section would be fine with me and the doctor said there was no time for any of that and the baby was coming right now.  The belt monitor was very uncomfortable, my hip bones were in a lot of pain, the contractions were intense and for some reason I did not want to or could not open my eyes at all for the next 20 or 30 minutes.  I did not expect to be a "yeller" but I did let out some loud yells.  I was instructed to push a series of 3 times during each contraction which seemed impossible to me as I would do one good hard push, followed by a breath and a medium push, followed by a breath and then one very weak and small push. I was praying and complaining and doing the best I could.  I was not being as kind, gentle, patient, unselfish and humble as I thought I would be.  I was being a bit of a baby asking questions like "how much longer?" but everyone was kind and said it was really up to the quality of my pushing.  I was determined to be a good pusher and I pushed real hard.  (This was my 2nd child but the first birth never progressed to full dilation and was posterior and ended up a C-section after many hours of ineffective and probably unnecessary pushing.)  I was pushing hard but in the wrong "spot", more like I was trying to push the big butterball area above my belly button in the front down and out and the doctor directed me to push down very low and further back than I imagined.  I tried that new area of pushing which felt very deep and primal and effective.  I believe it was 3 contractions later when everyone was saying that the head was coming and I thought that this was possibly the worst of it and I was asking myself if I felt the ring of fire or any of the things I had read about then they told me to pant and not push.  Once the head was out the rest of my babe slid and slurped out so quickly and easily and my pain was instantly over.  I was overjoyed and asked "girl or boy" and was told boy.  My reply was "really?" and a nurse said "that's what it looks like to me".  It was 8:04 AM.  I held him and told him I loved him and as they were cleaning him and checking him out I thought that it was a short days work for myself and my midwife and the doctor and nurses.  I felt like that was all over and  I could get up and go about my day but when I asked to sit up and they put the back of my bed in a sitting position I felt very dizzy and laid back down.  The pushing on my uterus to expel blood and check for clots was excrutiating all over again.  My family gave me and the baby lots of attention and love and our 5 year old son was happy about the fact that his new brother was born on his birthday, June 2nd.  Then, of course, he wanted to make sure who was going to pick up his birthday cake and balloons and that all the details of his party were going to be taken care of.  I stayed in the hospital and rested but made it home by 7 PM to have birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to him.  I am very grateful for a healthy, beautiful 8 lb/10 oz baby boy.  Also for a quick, but I wouldn't say easy, birth and a wonderful, kind, knowledgeable, professional, caring, supportive, selfless midwife that went above and beyond the call of duty over and over again for me.  I felt like I was in great hands right from the beginning for my entire prenatal care, birth, and postnatal care. One thing I did not do quite right was I did not rest much the first 2 weeks or a month after the baby was born.  I worked hard and did not take it easy and I should have been kinder to my body as I suffered by not doing so.  I would recommend to any and all new moms to take it really easy for atleast the first 2 weeks after the birth and even up to 40 full days as is the tradition in other countries I have traveled to.

Jessica Cruz

Prince Edward County, Ontario

Jaxsyn's Birth Story

What an unforgettable and joyous moment it was to discover that we were pregnant with our first child.  It seems as if we were the last of our friends to start the family thing.  Many of the stories we had heard of their births helped us choose the route of midwifery.  All the birth experiences with midwives were so encouraging whereas the stories of OBGYN's were filled with complications and interventions.  My first phone call with Jeannette was so welcoming, and from the moment my husband and I met her, we knew right away that this was the right experience we were after. 

Being first-timers, Chip and I had a long list of questions each visit, to which Jeannette was more than willing to address.  Each visit was scheduled later in the day so that both of us could attend and avoid taking time off work.  It was great to meet Susan each visit and be greeted with genuine excitement about  how things were progressing. We had appointments with Stacey as well, in case she had to deliver our baby.   The atmosphere was nothing of the uncomfortable, sterile Doctor's office we were used to, but rather a cozy, welcoming office space.  Each appointment was never rushed and if there had to be a cancellation due to a birth, we would know soon enough in advance.  Each appointment was approximately 30 minutes in length which we appreciated as we traveled from Bancroft for each one

It was about 11 p.m. in the evening when my contractions started every 5 minutes.  When I woke my husband, he was so excited that when he paged Jeannette he didn't listen to the instructions and had to do it about 3 times before he got it right!  After getting stopped for speeding by the police (yes, my husband was a bit excited!) and seeing more wildlife on the road than ever before, we met Jeannette at the office where she examined me and decided that we needed to head to the hospital.  (We wanted a hospital birth).  Jeannette was unbelievable.  Her calm, warm manner was a constant reassurance to both of us, and she never left our side.  She worked with us using strategies to alleviate the discomfort of contractions and explained to us what the nurses were doing before they did anything.  We had created a relationship with Jeannette where we felt so comfortable; something I know was a true asset to our delivery and experience. Since the hospital had yet to accept the midwives practicing in the hospital, Jeannette could only act as a Doula, rather than do her usual midwifery duties. (Care had to be transferred to the on-call OBGYN to deliver)  It was at our last appointment that we heard they will be able to birth babies in the hospital, the goal they had been working very hard towards....we're ecstatic for them and the couples who wish to have a hospital birth. After about 4 hours of steady contractions the pushing phase started and Chip and I were so blessed to have Jeannette there by our side to help get us through.  She was so calm and reassuring, motivating and encouraging me the entire way.  When the doctor did arrive with an attending, Jeannette stayed right beside us.  I don't remember the doctor or attending encouraging me or motivating me to push at all!  It didn't matter because our focus was on having a baby naturally.  Jaxsyn Thomas was born at 9:14 a.m. and what a sight he was!!  Absolutely perfect!!

Jeannette stayed with us until Jax was breast-feeding well and then left us to have our first family time.  She returned later that evening to check in and make sure we were all well and answered our questions and explained what the next few days would entail for visits.  Stacey came to see us the next day because Jeannette was on her weekend off, and was fantastic!  She helped get Jax latched on better and checked me out as well.  Stacy was so reassuring, helpful and genuinely excited for us.  

It is with great appreciation of the Quinte Midwives that we write this story to share with others who are considering the midwife approach.  There is no doubt in our mind that once we are ready for our second child we will want the Quinte Midwives to care for us again

Chip, Barb & Jaxsyn Gillis

Bancroft, ON

Olive's Birth Story

I awoke on the morning of April 21 still pregnant. My due date had come and gone and still no baby.  Although I did feel a little 'different' that morning, I decided to focus on anything other than labour and birth. The anticipation of birthing was killing me!

I spent the day enjoying the weather with a few friends. It was a warm day for April.  Throughout the afternoon and evening, I felt an occasional surge. I reminded myself not to become too excited. I sent my husband out for the night with the boys and invited my niece over for a sleepover with my son. My son was especially energetic that night so my mother offered to help settle the two for bed.

My surges began to pick up in frequency shortly after my husband left. Within half an hour, I could feel them every 3-4 minutes. I decided to dress my bed just in case tonight was the night. I was having difficulty focuses on this task though. I eventually decided to call the midwives at approximately 930. I knew dressing a bed shouldn't be this difficult!  I assumed I was only feeling warm-ups, but wanted to let Jeannette know what was happening, just in case she had plans. I had a few surges while talking to her, but still wasn't convinced this was labour. It just seemed too easy! Within about 15 minutes, I was convinced something was happening. The surges were still very manageable, but they were coming every 2-3 minutes. I called Jeannette back and told her she should probably make her way over to my house. Next, I called my husband and told him that the night out with the boys was cancelled! Lastly, I let my son know that his sleepover was moving over to Nana's house. 

By 10, I had my husband back and everyone else out of the house. By this time, the surges were strong. I relaxed in the pool while listening to my hypnobirthing cd. The room was dark with only the candle light. My husband continuously poured water over my belly during the surges and softly chanted birth affirmations. When the Jeannette arrived around 1030, I was in a state of pure relaxation. We were all surprised to see that I was already over 8 cm. This put me into an even deeper state. Soon I would be birthing my baby!  

While Jeannette began setting up in a different room, my husband and I continued relaxing through my labour. With each surge, I watched my belly rise and thought of holding my baby. My husband continued softly chanting to me. I continued in this state for another half hour.

Suddenly I started feeling an overwhelming, primal urge. My concentration was immediately broken. I began flipping and quickly moving around the pool. Jeannette peaked over and let me know that I had entered the birthing phase. With help, I moved into the bedroom where I began breathing my baby down. Within minutes, I gave into my body and pushed with each surge. I couldn't fight it. Just as my baby was crowning, my concentration broke. The cord was wrapped and I needed to slowly ease baby out. I felt pressure and had trouble concentrating. Jeannette encouraged me to stay relaxed and reminded me to continue breathing! I immediately reached down and touched my baby's head. Within seconds, I finally birthed her!! Baby Olive arrived at 1136 am weighing 7.14.

This experience of birthing my baby naturally in my home has changed me and my husband forever! Thank you so much Jeannette. 

Sara Hamilton

Brighton, Ontario